A local ministry provides comprehensive training for dealing with grief
By Laura Forrest Hopfauf
There is nothing easy about standing in a funeral home. Grief is an overwhelming burden that affects everyone differently. Finding the right words to say as a funeral attendee can feel daunting. Finding the strength to continue on as the bereaved can feel near impossible. We all face grief in our lifetimes, so why is so difficult to find the right words, the right ways, to support our friends and family after they have lost a loved one? Why is it so difficult to find the help we need after we have faced loss ourselves?
Hope Beyond Our Grief (HBOG), a nonprofit established in 2011, has been serving in the grief community for the past 15 years by providing tools, training and compassion to prepare individuals and groups to support grievers in their darkest times.
HBOG isn’t a support group itself, it is a comprehensive training for grief caregivers. Its mission is to help groups equip and train regular people to support grievers in their time of need. Developed by people closely acquainted with grief who saw individuals, churches and groups who wanted to help the grieving but didn’t quite know how, HBOG provides materials ranging from books to videos to blogs to newsletters that give guidance and direction to those who want to offer support to those grieving. Its materials are meant to train people to do the work themselves rather than focus on only a pastor or individual leader providing care.
Pastor Kimberly Nunberg-Wadel of Zion Lutheran Church in Williamsport.
“The mission of Hope Beyond Our Grief is to help churches equip and train grief caregivers to provide comfort and healing to grieving people in their time of need. While we do offer resources for individuals who are grieving, our primary mission is to assist leaders in churches and other organizations by offering educational written and video resources to inform and train people who want to care for those who are experiencing loss, as well as structured grief support group programs they can run,” Dr. David Baker, director of Hope Beyond Our Grief, says.
In essence, HBOG works to make grief stewards out of anyone who wants to support someone in the midst of loss. The group provides effective training so that feeling of helplessness that often accompanies loss is replaced by wisdom and encouragement shaped by resources that acknowledge emotional aspects of grief.
“Throughout my career as a health care chaplain and educator in Washington County and having lost my previous spouse, I was aware of this need in the faith communities to provide this kind of support and saw the opportunity to help churches and other groups meet this need by equipping people to minister to those at their most vulnerable time of grief,” Dr. Baker explains.
Although, the Christian based HBOG has materials and resources that can be tailored to help any group learn to facilitate grief caregivers to provide hope, healing and comfort after loss.
Pastor Kimberly Nunberg-Wadel of Zion Lutheran Church in Williamsport opted to use HBOG to help her congregation after a portion had gone through loss. Those losses ranged from spouses to friends to pets and HBOG provided them a great way to connect, share their feelings and gain support.
Dr. David Baker
Pastor Nunberg-Wadel says of HBOG, “it is a great resource that easily connects people going through a similar experience. Grief is normal, natural and they are not alone in that process.”
A practical example that Pastor Nunberg-Wadel took from the HBOG training that she continues to share is to plan a simple statement about what happened that can be repeated in the early days of loss to well-wishers who often accidently inundate the grieving with the question of what happened? That way instead of feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to answer, a griever can have a prepared answer to help them get through those initial days of grief without facing the extra emotional toll of coming up with an answer each time they are asked.
Over the past 15 years, HBOG has worked with more than a thousand different groups from churches to long-term care facilities to hospices and other organizations in the USA and Canada to provide the tools for them to help the grieving in their communities with compassion and wisdom themselves by creating their own overall grief care. It’s a cause and result that still leaves Dr. Baker feeling fulfilled when it happens.
Advice Dr. Baker offers for someone wanting to support a loved one through their grief, “Be patient with them. Recognize that the grief process is unique to every person, and that how one grieves and how long it takes for them to get past the acute stage is individual. Be patient with them not just in the immediate time of loss, but in the weeks and months that follow. Offer practical help.”
Hope Beyond Our Grief is doing just that.